How to Stop Yelling Parent Syndrome – Tips and Tools For Calm Parenting
How to stop yelling parent syndrome? This is a tough habit to break. It develops out of need and is totally subconscious so it is not always easy to catch yourself.
First things first, the yelling parent is not the only culprit. Parents sometimes have to yell in order to be heard above all the screaming the kids are doing. It can sometimes become a habit and a hard one to break. This habit might have been forced on the parent as a necessary means of being heard. This is especially true for parents of multiple children.
Necessity the mother of invention
Keep in mind that your not necessarily to blame. Sometimes a parent feels that if they do not yell and raise their voice above everyone else that they will not be heard and in many cases they are right. This habit is formed primarily from direct previous experience of not being heard. In essence its the creation of need.
Regardless of how the habit has begun the fact is its where you are at the moment and you want to change it. This can be done just like any other unwanted habit. The first step is recognizing and admitting the problem as a means of facing it head on.
Here are some helpful tips on how you can stop the yelling habit.
1. The best thing to do in the beginning is to design a method to catch ourself when you start to raise your voice. Ask your children and anyone else that your around a lot of the time to help you. You can develop a signal to help them remind you and get your attention. Including your children is extremely therapeutic for them as well as you. They can gather and learn skills that will help them with their anger too.
Plus they will see you as a model in trying to control and handle your own frustrations. Your children will learn from your example.
2. Plan ahead for handling your own anger. You can have a color card system that your little helping children can hold up when they see you about to blow. Like a caution card yellow, a red card for stop, or symbols like question marks or whatever might work for you. Just something that will grab your attention and let you know what is going on.
3. If you do find yourself yelling do not be too hard on yourself. Keep in mind this is not entirely your fault. You are only human and the fact that you are trying means you will get there eventually. If you do react with yelling apologize and move on. Just keep trying until you
4. Make an anger coping kit custom designed just for you. Keep trying different calming methods and tools until you find what is right and what works for you and your child. Keep a planned anger response written down and memorize it. Develop ways to deal with your anger when it comes.
Count to ten, leave the room, breath deep and then come back. You can use a rubber band around your wrist snapping it to keep you distracted.
5. Always examine and clarify the reasons you get angry. Learn what is bothering and confront it. Is it stress? Is it fear? Lack of sleep disappointment? Once you understand it decide whether or not what you want to do anything about it or not. If you choose to let it go, then stop thinking about it.
6. Find creative ways to get their attention. Challenge yourself. Practice standing up on a chair and speaking to the children clearly instead of yelling at them. Do different things out of the ordinary to get their attention.
These are just scratching the surface but they are a good start. Learning how to stop yelling parent syndrome is not an exact science. There are no guarantees and you will have to find what works for you through trial and error. Keep a record of what does and does not work. The more organized you are about it the faster you will achieve your goal.